So yesterday I went out for little jog, as usual for Saturday morning. I got up at 4am, ate my oatmeal, drank my coffee, got out and was on the road and ready to run by 5am. It started out pretty good, but as the day dawned I started to get a little frustrated. Notice I said, "the day dawned" and not "the sun rose". Because I'm pretty sure that yesterday the ol' sun decided to take himself a little sabbatical and not come out at all. He stuck a really big version of one of those curly light bulbs in the sky, threw some clouds over them so no one would notice, and went back to bed.
Now, normally I'm totally stoked when there is cloud cover while I'm running. Because it means I don't have to endure the life-sucking heat rays of the aforementioned sun. But it was really really gloomy yesterday, and having recovered from a cold I'd had earlier that week, I was just hoping for some warm sunshine to heat my cold, cabin-fevered bones. Then, to make matters worse, around mile 7 my silly phone started to malfunction. The "voice dialer" would activate for no particular reason, and no matter how many times I hit the "quit" button, it refused to disengage. The reason this was irritating is that the music I was listening to kept starting and stopping, and we all know that it's impossible to run without some sort of mechanical distraction plugged into our ears to drown out the gasping, wheezing, grunting and thigh flapping sounds our bodies make when we run. Now my poor phone has been through a lot these past few months. It's been dropped, stepped on, and otherwise tortured, so it runs slow and has all sorts of interesting glitches. Once in awhile, when I ask it do something complicated (like run a GPS sports tracker app and play music at the same time,) it stomps its feet, crosses its arms, shakes its head and says, "you must be kidding". So yesterday's technical difficulties had me fiddling with my phone for a good 20 minutes and then having to warm up all over again and convince my legs to finish the rest of my run.
So when I did finish my run, I was kind of bummed. I felt "off my game" and figured I hadn't done too well, but when I sat down to rest (which by the way you're not supposed to do, you're supposed to stretch right away after running to keep your muscles from cramping up, so do what I say and not what I do), and looked at my tracking app, I was surprised to find that I'd done a lot better than I thought I had. I had set out to finish 14 miles, which I did, and with a time 6 minutes faster than my previous best time for that distance. So much for "having a bad run". Even though I'd been discouraged, my body had disengaged itself from my brain and all the negative thoughts and just done what I'd trained it to do: run at a comfortable pace until I finished the distance I wanted to finish that day. And I realized that that has been the key to my success in running. The work I put into my training has accomplished its purpose in bringing me to the level I desire to be, so that even when I have a difficult time in doing it, I have what I need to complete what I set out to do.
It's been an interesting journey these past few years, seeing the changes that have come to pass in my life. The obvious changes have of course been those directly related to running. I've been blessed to have a lot of things come together for me to make it possible to enjoy running: my desire to be healthy, the nice weather in my hometown, good places to run, time to be out running. But the main foundation of all these changes has been one thing: discipline. Sometimes we think of that as almost a dirty word, because when we realize we are not disciplined, we feel guilty and try to hide from it. Even though we know the habits we have are dragging us down and causing a lot of damage, we deny there is anything wrong and keep doing what we want because we either think we don't need to change, or that even if we want to change it is impossible. Throughout my life I've dealt with these thoughts in many areas of my life, it just happens that my weight was the most evident of them and the biggest obstacle for me to overcome. It has taken monumental amounts of work to get where I am now in my fitness level, and I was only able to do it because I allowed discipline to take control in my life.
So I've been at this for two years now. I have trained myself to think and act differently in how I regard fitness and specifically, eating and running, and then apply the knowledge continuously through my actions. That is the root of discipline. First you think it, then you do it, and keep doing it even when it seems hard. You remind yourself constantly of where you've been, who you want to be, and don't let yourself fall below the standards you set because you know and believe you can be what you want to be, and don't allow yourself to settle for anything less. So how do you do that? It starts with the decision to change. You put aside all the negative thoughts, tell your stupid brain to just shut up, and you take the first step. Then another and another and another. And when you reach your goal, don't ever look back, because if you allow yourself to think your old thoughts for even a second, it's too easy to rationalize a little bit here and a little bit there until you realize you've undone all your hard work and gone back to being the person you fought so hard to leave behind.
The discipline I've developed in my running has had the incredible effect of spilling over into other areas of my life. I don't really want to go into specific detail because it would greatly increase the length of this post, but I wanted to mention it because it has been such an amazing experience for me over the past couple of years. I have seen the physical change in my body, but have reaped the most benefits in joy, peace, in my heart and in my spirit, by finding the courage to deal with other areas of my life that, like my weight, had discouraged and plagued me for much of my life, causing me to feel like a failure, like a dead weight, worthless and empty. I have been set free by cultivating discipline in my life, and though I'm far from perfect, I wake up every day knowing it is possible for me to live victoriously over all my character flaws, that I have the tools I need to overcome any obstacles, and that life from now on can only get better for me. I only hope to encourage all my readers that whatever it is that is holding you back, just let it go and take the first step. It may be hard to let go of some habits or ideas that you think define you and how you live, but if you want to make the change, just do it and don't look back. I promise the only regret you will have is that you didn't do it sooner.
As usual, thank you again for reading, and feel free to share/repost if you are encouraged.
Until next time!
-MaryAnne
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Caution: Running Can Be Contagious
So a couple months ago, I registered for a silly little race in Hollywood, CA, the aptly named "Hollywood Half Marathon". Some friends had run it last year, and I thought it sounded like fun. Festive, nice shiny blingy medal, and not too many hills (Hellooooo, New Year's Race). So after I signed up, I went through my usual routine: blab about it on Facebook, blab about it to my friends, blab about it at church, and so on. And a funny thing happened. People started asking me if they could join too. Now, this particular race had all the perks of a good race: multiple options (5k, 10k and half marathon), nice shirts, interesting course, and of course the aforementioned shiny blingy medals for all finishers. Pretty soon I was carrying my laptop with me every time I went to church, so that I could register anyone who asked. I became kind of an informal team captain, organizing the group and by the time race day arrived, there were 9 of us in all, including myself, most of them first time racers.
I was the only one doing the half marathon. That is my favorite race distance, for the simple fact that I'm lazy. That might sound strange, but I think about it like this: it might be longer, but I don't have to run as fast. When I run a 5k or a 10k, I really run it hard, because I know I won't have to keep up the pace for a long while. But when I do a half marathon, for the first two thirds or so, I keep my pace down and enjoy the run, then pick up a bit towards the end. It's like a nice two and a half hour jog around the neighborhood. The rest of the group signed up for the 5k and 10k races, and as we started there was the usual sense of anticipation with my group and the entire crowd as a whole. As we crossed the starting line, we separated out. The guys took off running, I did my usual "go ahead and pass me now, I'm gonna pass your butt later when you're all tired out because you don't know how to pace yourself" jog, and the other ladies stayed back walking.
My race went really well. The course was the usual for Los Angeles: city streets, freeway overpasses, concrete water holes that they try to pass off as lakes. The first part of the race was under a heavy cloud layer, but within the last 4 miles I could see the Griffith Observatory up on the hill above me. I never saw the Hollywood sign, it was probably visible but I was too busy trying not to bump into costumed runners around me. You would think the Hollywood race would inspire people to dress as celebrities, but instead it was the usual assortment of superheroes and random wackiness. Lots of Supermen and Superwomen, at least one Batman and Wonder Woman. I'm trying to figure that out. I guess maybe Wonder Woman runs sometimes, and when he's not flying Superman can run really fast, but what's with Batman? He doesn't run, he just drives around in his Batmobile. How come I never see anybody dressed up as the Flash? You'd think that would be the first one that comes to mind. But I digress. My favorite costume of the day was a tie between the 5 Marilyn Monroes (I think maybe one of them was a dude?) and Giant Banana Guy. Not sure how he ran in that thing, but it was definitely entertaining. I suppose one of these times I'll dress up in costume for a race, but then again....nah. Unless you can find Xena Warrior Princess in dri tech fabric, then I'll be all over that.
I finished my race in about the time I thought I would, and assembled the group for finish line photos. They were all excited, looking at their medals, laughing and chatting about the experience. We drove back to the South Bay, and went into the local Hometown Buffet in full race regalia, with our race bibs still pinned to our shirts and medals dangling from our necks. People stared at first, then began smiling as we passed back and forth from the buffet to our table. Knowing smiles, as if to say, "ah, you guys earned those calories!".
I've done so many races now that I've lost count, but the one I'll always remember the most was my first race. The Run Seal Beach 5k in April of 2011. I remember signing up. I remember going for walks to prepare. I remember waiting for the starting whistle, getting out on the course, and trying to keep up with the little old ladies and moms pushing strollers. I remember every moment of that first race, and the exhilaration of finishing, even though it was just a 5k, it was a big moment for me because I'd never done it before. So sitting in Hometown Buffet, listening to my friends chat and laugh and tell stories about what had happened during their race was like being back at that first day myself, feeling that joy and satisfaction of meeting that goal and knowing it was possible to think bigger. The party continued today as the group all came to church with their medals. At the end of the service we all put them on and I enjoyed once again hearing the stories as they went around talking to the people who had "opted out" of the race. Nods and smiles all around, I'm thinking I better get started with planning the next round, because I just might have a bigger crowd to coordinate!
The funny thing is that I've wanted very much to encourage people to join me in my races because of all that running and racing have done for my health. Two of my previous races I've been able to get groups together from church, but not as big as this one! And each time the result was the same, people being encouraged and inspired by their accomplishment, and enjoying the benefits of being active. This experience has demonstrated to me that all that I've done with my running is getting the attention of people that otherwise wouldn't have thought of trying it. It turns out that running is contagious! I caught the bug myself at that first race two years back, and now it seems I'm spreading it to everyone else!
My goal moving forward is to keep encouraging people to join me in my fitness routine. Not just the races, but overall exercise and activity. I'm always happy when people come to me and tell me how they have been walking and seeing the results of it. Some of the people from Saturday's race are already asking me when the next one will be. Some of them are interested in moving up to the next level. Gleefully, they say, "wow, that was too easy!". I love it. Because I know exactly how they feel.
I love running and I love doing races. No matter what happens, I am going to keep running. But how much more wonderful is it that just by doing something I love I can inspire others to also take control of their health and have fun doing it too? It's an amazing feeling! I look forward to seeing what is to come, but for now I'm just enjoying seeing my little group shine and smile, the same way I did back when I first started. They may never get to the marathon level, but whatever level they reach, it's going to be much more than they ever thought possible. And that is the best reward of all.
Thank you again to my approximately 12 loyal readers. I may not have a big crowd of followers but the ones I've got are the most loyal and wonderful friends that I could ever hope to have. Thank you for following my story, always encouraging me and making me smile. Until Next Time!
-MaryAnne
I was the only one doing the half marathon. That is my favorite race distance, for the simple fact that I'm lazy. That might sound strange, but I think about it like this: it might be longer, but I don't have to run as fast. When I run a 5k or a 10k, I really run it hard, because I know I won't have to keep up the pace for a long while. But when I do a half marathon, for the first two thirds or so, I keep my pace down and enjoy the run, then pick up a bit towards the end. It's like a nice two and a half hour jog around the neighborhood. The rest of the group signed up for the 5k and 10k races, and as we started there was the usual sense of anticipation with my group and the entire crowd as a whole. As we crossed the starting line, we separated out. The guys took off running, I did my usual "go ahead and pass me now, I'm gonna pass your butt later when you're all tired out because you don't know how to pace yourself" jog, and the other ladies stayed back walking.
My race went really well. The course was the usual for Los Angeles: city streets, freeway overpasses, concrete water holes that they try to pass off as lakes. The first part of the race was under a heavy cloud layer, but within the last 4 miles I could see the Griffith Observatory up on the hill above me. I never saw the Hollywood sign, it was probably visible but I was too busy trying not to bump into costumed runners around me. You would think the Hollywood race would inspire people to dress as celebrities, but instead it was the usual assortment of superheroes and random wackiness. Lots of Supermen and Superwomen, at least one Batman and Wonder Woman. I'm trying to figure that out. I guess maybe Wonder Woman runs sometimes, and when he's not flying Superman can run really fast, but what's with Batman? He doesn't run, he just drives around in his Batmobile. How come I never see anybody dressed up as the Flash? You'd think that would be the first one that comes to mind. But I digress. My favorite costume of the day was a tie between the 5 Marilyn Monroes (I think maybe one of them was a dude?) and Giant Banana Guy. Not sure how he ran in that thing, but it was definitely entertaining. I suppose one of these times I'll dress up in costume for a race, but then again....nah. Unless you can find Xena Warrior Princess in dri tech fabric, then I'll be all over that.
I finished my race in about the time I thought I would, and assembled the group for finish line photos. They were all excited, looking at their medals, laughing and chatting about the experience. We drove back to the South Bay, and went into the local Hometown Buffet in full race regalia, with our race bibs still pinned to our shirts and medals dangling from our necks. People stared at first, then began smiling as we passed back and forth from the buffet to our table. Knowing smiles, as if to say, "ah, you guys earned those calories!".
I've done so many races now that I've lost count, but the one I'll always remember the most was my first race. The Run Seal Beach 5k in April of 2011. I remember signing up. I remember going for walks to prepare. I remember waiting for the starting whistle, getting out on the course, and trying to keep up with the little old ladies and moms pushing strollers. I remember every moment of that first race, and the exhilaration of finishing, even though it was just a 5k, it was a big moment for me because I'd never done it before. So sitting in Hometown Buffet, listening to my friends chat and laugh and tell stories about what had happened during their race was like being back at that first day myself, feeling that joy and satisfaction of meeting that goal and knowing it was possible to think bigger. The party continued today as the group all came to church with their medals. At the end of the service we all put them on and I enjoyed once again hearing the stories as they went around talking to the people who had "opted out" of the race. Nods and smiles all around, I'm thinking I better get started with planning the next round, because I just might have a bigger crowd to coordinate!
The funny thing is that I've wanted very much to encourage people to join me in my races because of all that running and racing have done for my health. Two of my previous races I've been able to get groups together from church, but not as big as this one! And each time the result was the same, people being encouraged and inspired by their accomplishment, and enjoying the benefits of being active. This experience has demonstrated to me that all that I've done with my running is getting the attention of people that otherwise wouldn't have thought of trying it. It turns out that running is contagious! I caught the bug myself at that first race two years back, and now it seems I'm spreading it to everyone else!
My goal moving forward is to keep encouraging people to join me in my fitness routine. Not just the races, but overall exercise and activity. I'm always happy when people come to me and tell me how they have been walking and seeing the results of it. Some of the people from Saturday's race are already asking me when the next one will be. Some of them are interested in moving up to the next level. Gleefully, they say, "wow, that was too easy!". I love it. Because I know exactly how they feel.
I love running and I love doing races. No matter what happens, I am going to keep running. But how much more wonderful is it that just by doing something I love I can inspire others to also take control of their health and have fun doing it too? It's an amazing feeling! I look forward to seeing what is to come, but for now I'm just enjoying seeing my little group shine and smile, the same way I did back when I first started. They may never get to the marathon level, but whatever level they reach, it's going to be much more than they ever thought possible. And that is the best reward of all.
Thank you again to my approximately 12 loyal readers. I may not have a big crowd of followers but the ones I've got are the most loyal and wonderful friends that I could ever hope to have. Thank you for following my story, always encouraging me and making me smile. Until Next Time!
-MaryAnne
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Curse You, Taco Day
Today's post has actually been sitting here in my computer for a few weeks now. I started writing a post about how I both love and hate taco day at work because I love to eat yummy tacos, but I struggle to deal with food temptations because I'm still trying to lose weight. I wasn't able to finish the post and publish it, and as the days passed I found myself beginning to think about the entire history of my relationship with food. It wasn't an overnight occurrence that got me from being a skinny kid to an obese adult, it was a gradual process of developing bad habits that has only been undone by an equally gradual process of self education and discipline that continues now, and always will for the rest of my life.
I have struggled my whole life with food. I've always loved food. The taste, the smell, the texture, everything. Ever since I can remember, my thoughts have revolved around food. When the next time would be that I would eat, what I would eat, how much of it I would be able to get. As a kid, my parents kept my eating habits in check by providing healthy foods and avoiding giving me an excess of sweets and sugary stuff, but whenever I had the opportunity, I found ways to get my hands on those things. Nearly every penny of birthday money and allowance that I got went to buy candy, sweets, junk food and the like. As I got older and more independent, the amount I ate increased exponentially with the freedom I had and the income I received from working, no matter that my parents and other people that cared about me tried to warn me that it wasn't healthy.
From my teenage years and into my adulthood I continued to eat to excess. I ate everything I loved without limitation. I knew the things I was eating weren't "healthy", but I didn't even try to look into nutritional information because I knew it would make me feel guilty about what I was doing, so I avoided it like the plague. Likewise, portion sizes were an unknown concept to me. To me, a portion consisted of the amount of food I could get into myself at any given time until I felt uncomfortable. I didn't just stuff myself at special occasions, I did it every day, every meal, and in between. If there was a super size available, I took it. And more often than not, I added more on top of that. As the years went by, my eating habits caught up with me, and I was incredibly overweight, but I remember being in a kind of denial. I didn't hate myself, I didn't feel guilty, I loved food and eating and didn't think there was anything wrong with me no matter how big I got. I knew all the health risks but put them out of my mind, ignored doctor's advice and went on eating as though there were no consequences.
The first time I was forced to face the health issues of obesity head-on was when I was pregnant with my youngest child. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes in the later months of my pregnancy, and the nutritionist assigned to me put me on a very strict, precise diet to bring my blood sugar levels in line. I had to measure my blood sugar 4 times a day, and despite the diet I was on, I had to inject insulin because my blood sugar levels were still too high. When my daughter was born, I was 50 lbs and 3 sizes smaller than when I had gotten pregnant with her because of the effect of the drastic diet. I should have taken a hint and started to educate myself about nutrition then, but instead I started thinking about how those "mean" doctors had deprived my of my favorite foods, and as soon as my blood sugar levels went back to normal, I told myself it was ok to "indulge", and that it wasn't possible to gain back all of those 50 lbs that I had lost. But it was, and I did. And that was the point I reached two years ago when I realized I had no choice to but to make some changes or face the ultimate consequence of that level of unhealthy living.
It's hard to say the exact moment of truth that started my weight loss journey two years ago. I have touched on some of my motivations in previous posts, and I think it was a combination of things. The "bathroom mirror moment". Being denied life insurance because of my weight. My physical limitations. The heart palpitations, dizziness and shortness of breath. So many factors, so many variables. I was stubbornly able to ignore and deny so many things for so long, but the biggest obstacle was my relationship with food. I've written a lot of posts about my exercise routines, but the real key to my weight loss has been learning about nutrition, and changing my view of food from being a form of entertainment for me, to being the fuel my body needs to function. And it's been hard. As I mentioned above, many of the foods that I enjoy eating also happen to be things that are just really, really, really, really unhealthy when eaten in excess. I love taco day! Which is why I hate it. I want to eat healthy, but find myself constantly challenged by food temptations wherever I go. It's easy to eat healthy when the other options aren't present, but it's a struggle when they are right in front of your face and you have to fight a battle with your own stupid brain to just walk away and not eat something that you know will undo a lot of hard work, just because it tastes so good! If I could go the rest of my life and only have a steady stream of healthy, reasonable foods presented to me, I would be the happiest person on the planet, because I would never have to face my food demons.
I have spent the last two years of my life completely changing the way I view food and eating. I research, read, and experiment. I've learned what carbs are, what they do, and why they are necessary. I've learned the benefits of low-glycemic carbs vs. high-glycemic carbs. I know what protein does, what fiber does, and what vitamins, minerals, and electrolytes do. I've learned what is in different foods, and which foods I should avoid, which I should indulge in, and which I should have but in small amounts. I read ingredient lists and nutritional information panels, I know to scrutinize serving sizes and do math in my head to calculate the real information and not the numbers the companies want you to see. I know to ignore the front of labels, to avoid prominently displayed store displays and to never buy anything just because it says "healthy" "whole grain" "fat free" "gluten free" "low carb" "high protein" or whatever the trendy health buzz-word of the week is. There is an entire industry out there preying on people like me, who want to eat healthy but struggle to find the healthy options that provide the equivalent of the good feelings our former unhealthy favorites gave us. Thankfully, there are enough companies and organizations out there that really do want to help people succeed, the trick is learning to tell the legit from the fakers, and finding enough healthy replacement options to keep you on track when those really tough temptations come calling.
My relationship with food will always be a struggle for me. I will always want to eat too much of things I shouldn't, even though I am now fully aware of the detrimental effects they can have on my health. I will continue to try diligently to eat properly, while knowing that I am not perfect and will occasionally fail in this effort. I will not beat myself up over a temporary indulgence and will refuse to see such indulgence as an indicator of permanent failure. I know that I have come too far and learned too much to go back to my old ways. I still have a ways to go to reach my final weight loss goal, and each morning I wake up, I prepare myself to face the oncoming onslaught of food temptations and discouraging thoughts that I know are coming my way. But I am confident of my ability to finally and permanently beat this thing and live the life I was meant to have, healthy and strong. And no matter how many Taco Tuesday I have to endure, I know I can do it because I've already come this far.
Thank you again for reading! If you enjoy my posts, please feel free to repost on Facebook, send to friends, etc. I hate to ask but I'm trying to find an audience beyond my 12 or so devoted readers here, so please pimp me out to your friends if you think they will be encouraged.
Until next time...
I have struggled my whole life with food. I've always loved food. The taste, the smell, the texture, everything. Ever since I can remember, my thoughts have revolved around food. When the next time would be that I would eat, what I would eat, how much of it I would be able to get. As a kid, my parents kept my eating habits in check by providing healthy foods and avoiding giving me an excess of sweets and sugary stuff, but whenever I had the opportunity, I found ways to get my hands on those things. Nearly every penny of birthday money and allowance that I got went to buy candy, sweets, junk food and the like. As I got older and more independent, the amount I ate increased exponentially with the freedom I had and the income I received from working, no matter that my parents and other people that cared about me tried to warn me that it wasn't healthy.
From my teenage years and into my adulthood I continued to eat to excess. I ate everything I loved without limitation. I knew the things I was eating weren't "healthy", but I didn't even try to look into nutritional information because I knew it would make me feel guilty about what I was doing, so I avoided it like the plague. Likewise, portion sizes were an unknown concept to me. To me, a portion consisted of the amount of food I could get into myself at any given time until I felt uncomfortable. I didn't just stuff myself at special occasions, I did it every day, every meal, and in between. If there was a super size available, I took it. And more often than not, I added more on top of that. As the years went by, my eating habits caught up with me, and I was incredibly overweight, but I remember being in a kind of denial. I didn't hate myself, I didn't feel guilty, I loved food and eating and didn't think there was anything wrong with me no matter how big I got. I knew all the health risks but put them out of my mind, ignored doctor's advice and went on eating as though there were no consequences.
The first time I was forced to face the health issues of obesity head-on was when I was pregnant with my youngest child. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes in the later months of my pregnancy, and the nutritionist assigned to me put me on a very strict, precise diet to bring my blood sugar levels in line. I had to measure my blood sugar 4 times a day, and despite the diet I was on, I had to inject insulin because my blood sugar levels were still too high. When my daughter was born, I was 50 lbs and 3 sizes smaller than when I had gotten pregnant with her because of the effect of the drastic diet. I should have taken a hint and started to educate myself about nutrition then, but instead I started thinking about how those "mean" doctors had deprived my of my favorite foods, and as soon as my blood sugar levels went back to normal, I told myself it was ok to "indulge", and that it wasn't possible to gain back all of those 50 lbs that I had lost. But it was, and I did. And that was the point I reached two years ago when I realized I had no choice to but to make some changes or face the ultimate consequence of that level of unhealthy living.
It's hard to say the exact moment of truth that started my weight loss journey two years ago. I have touched on some of my motivations in previous posts, and I think it was a combination of things. The "bathroom mirror moment". Being denied life insurance because of my weight. My physical limitations. The heart palpitations, dizziness and shortness of breath. So many factors, so many variables. I was stubbornly able to ignore and deny so many things for so long, but the biggest obstacle was my relationship with food. I've written a lot of posts about my exercise routines, but the real key to my weight loss has been learning about nutrition, and changing my view of food from being a form of entertainment for me, to being the fuel my body needs to function. And it's been hard. As I mentioned above, many of the foods that I enjoy eating also happen to be things that are just really, really, really, really unhealthy when eaten in excess. I love taco day! Which is why I hate it. I want to eat healthy, but find myself constantly challenged by food temptations wherever I go. It's easy to eat healthy when the other options aren't present, but it's a struggle when they are right in front of your face and you have to fight a battle with your own stupid brain to just walk away and not eat something that you know will undo a lot of hard work, just because it tastes so good! If I could go the rest of my life and only have a steady stream of healthy, reasonable foods presented to me, I would be the happiest person on the planet, because I would never have to face my food demons.
I have spent the last two years of my life completely changing the way I view food and eating. I research, read, and experiment. I've learned what carbs are, what they do, and why they are necessary. I've learned the benefits of low-glycemic carbs vs. high-glycemic carbs. I know what protein does, what fiber does, and what vitamins, minerals, and electrolytes do. I've learned what is in different foods, and which foods I should avoid, which I should indulge in, and which I should have but in small amounts. I read ingredient lists and nutritional information panels, I know to scrutinize serving sizes and do math in my head to calculate the real information and not the numbers the companies want you to see. I know to ignore the front of labels, to avoid prominently displayed store displays and to never buy anything just because it says "healthy" "whole grain" "fat free" "gluten free" "low carb" "high protein" or whatever the trendy health buzz-word of the week is. There is an entire industry out there preying on people like me, who want to eat healthy but struggle to find the healthy options that provide the equivalent of the good feelings our former unhealthy favorites gave us. Thankfully, there are enough companies and organizations out there that really do want to help people succeed, the trick is learning to tell the legit from the fakers, and finding enough healthy replacement options to keep you on track when those really tough temptations come calling.
My relationship with food will always be a struggle for me. I will always want to eat too much of things I shouldn't, even though I am now fully aware of the detrimental effects they can have on my health. I will continue to try diligently to eat properly, while knowing that I am not perfect and will occasionally fail in this effort. I will not beat myself up over a temporary indulgence and will refuse to see such indulgence as an indicator of permanent failure. I know that I have come too far and learned too much to go back to my old ways. I still have a ways to go to reach my final weight loss goal, and each morning I wake up, I prepare myself to face the oncoming onslaught of food temptations and discouraging thoughts that I know are coming my way. But I am confident of my ability to finally and permanently beat this thing and live the life I was meant to have, healthy and strong. And no matter how many Taco Tuesday I have to endure, I know I can do it because I've already come this far.
Thank you again for reading! If you enjoy my posts, please feel free to repost on Facebook, send to friends, etc. I hate to ask but I'm trying to find an audience beyond my 12 or so devoted readers here, so please pimp me out to your friends if you think they will be encouraged.
Until next time...
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
2 Years And Counting...Progress So Far
I know, I know. I'm the worst blogger ever. I suck at it. It's like forever between posts, I want to update more often but I'm hit with a lot of writer's block. I love to write it, but the problem I have is that I'm something of a perfectionist. I want to write posts on a grand and epic scale, not boring everyday stuff that will bore people and make people bored. But unfortunately, my life is kind of boring. Crazy mountain hiking adventures and marathons aside, most of my daily grind is pretty much like everyone else's. Work, family, extracurricular activities, sleep, and so on. Who wants to read about that? And yet we all have unique experiences and at least from what I see on my Facebook, we are all somewhat invested in one another's lives, no matter how boring. So I guess I will try something new, to write from my heart and not from my head, and find things to share that mean something to me rather than things I think will impress the masses. Thank you for reading, even if I'm boring.
It's been just about 2 years since I started this fun journey of fitness and healthy living. When I first started out, I didn't really have a plan in mind, I never imagined I'd reach the point I am at right now. At that point in my life, I wasn't doing anything, and I just wanted to do something. Anything. Well, that Something became Something More, which progressed into Wow, I May Be On To Something and got me to where I am now, at Holy Cow, I Can't Believe I'm Doing This. It's been a fun ride so far, but it's not over yet, so here's kind of a progress report on my two year mark.
As of late, my fitness routine has been going well. I continue to run on a regular basis, currently I run 26+ miles a week, broken up into three days a week. I do a short run on Tuesday (6 miles), a medium run on Thursday (8-10 miles) and a long run on Saturday (12+ miles). Every four weeks I take a "break" by running shorter distances than usual, to give my body a chance to recover and heal from any damage caused by the longer runs I normally do. I don't know if that routine is right or would be approved by the Official Runner People. I'm not a member of a running club and don't follow blogs or read articles as much as I should, but all I know is my routine works for me. I also register for and participate in races to motivate me to keep pushing myself to get out there and keep improving. So far this year, I completed a half marathon back in January and my first full marathon on February 3. I will do a post on that at some point, but that will require more time than I have on my hands right now. All I can say is it was a most amazing and educational experience for me, and one I am planning to repeat in the not-so-distant-future. I will be running two more half marathons in the next two months, and more half marathons and 10k's throughout the year. I'm looking forward to each one and crossing my fingers for some fresh new PR's in the next couple of races to get the Spring season off to a good start!
My weight loss has been stalled for some time now. I have already lost 105 lbs since beginning this journey two years ago, my goal is to lose 20-30 more lbs to reach my ideal weight for my height of 6'. It is hard because I love to eat and though I burn enough calories with my exercise routine to maintain the weight I am at, I am having difficulty moving forward because I'm still fighting my old eating habits, which have a nasty habit of sneaking up on me when I least expect it. I work in an environment that is full of food temptations that come in the form of tasty leftovers, the overflowing dish of chocolate treats in HR, and the all-you-can-eat-all-day-long full service cafeteria that is 27 steps from my desk. Yes, I counted. I have created a meal plan that gives me a specific lists of yes and no options, but sticking to it is tough when surrounded by so many temptations. I manage to stick to it pretty well most days, and my weight has been ticking down slowly, slowly, slowly. I have very little patience, but I have to keep reminding myself that progress is progress, no matter how small.
Looking ahead, I continue with the plan that has served me well for the past couple of years, that is to keep setting short term goals, but with some long term goals in mind as well. As I mentioned, I still participate in races, though I have already finished a total of 4 half marathons, I am working on improving my pace, so I continue to sign up for more. I'm still working on the weight loss, I haven't set a time frame goal for that but I'm hoping to reach it within the next year or so. For the long term, I set my sights on another marathon, to be completed in the Spring of 2014. That will give me time to work on improving my pace and endurance so that when it's time to start marathon training it won't be such a stretch as it was this time, and so I can actually run the whole thing the next time. I know it's possible, I just have to take it a little at a time. I'm up to 16 miles without walking now, I'm optimistic that this goal will be met within the time frame I've set.
That's all I've got for now. I'm going to try to update this more often, even when I don't have any epic adventures to tell about. I hope you enjoy my musings and thoughts, as usual, thank you for reading!
It's been just about 2 years since I started this fun journey of fitness and healthy living. When I first started out, I didn't really have a plan in mind, I never imagined I'd reach the point I am at right now. At that point in my life, I wasn't doing anything, and I just wanted to do something. Anything. Well, that Something became Something More, which progressed into Wow, I May Be On To Something and got me to where I am now, at Holy Cow, I Can't Believe I'm Doing This. It's been a fun ride so far, but it's not over yet, so here's kind of a progress report on my two year mark.
As of late, my fitness routine has been going well. I continue to run on a regular basis, currently I run 26+ miles a week, broken up into three days a week. I do a short run on Tuesday (6 miles), a medium run on Thursday (8-10 miles) and a long run on Saturday (12+ miles). Every four weeks I take a "break" by running shorter distances than usual, to give my body a chance to recover and heal from any damage caused by the longer runs I normally do. I don't know if that routine is right or would be approved by the Official Runner People. I'm not a member of a running club and don't follow blogs or read articles as much as I should, but all I know is my routine works for me. I also register for and participate in races to motivate me to keep pushing myself to get out there and keep improving. So far this year, I completed a half marathon back in January and my first full marathon on February 3. I will do a post on that at some point, but that will require more time than I have on my hands right now. All I can say is it was a most amazing and educational experience for me, and one I am planning to repeat in the not-so-distant-future. I will be running two more half marathons in the next two months, and more half marathons and 10k's throughout the year. I'm looking forward to each one and crossing my fingers for some fresh new PR's in the next couple of races to get the Spring season off to a good start!
My weight loss has been stalled for some time now. I have already lost 105 lbs since beginning this journey two years ago, my goal is to lose 20-30 more lbs to reach my ideal weight for my height of 6'. It is hard because I love to eat and though I burn enough calories with my exercise routine to maintain the weight I am at, I am having difficulty moving forward because I'm still fighting my old eating habits, which have a nasty habit of sneaking up on me when I least expect it. I work in an environment that is full of food temptations that come in the form of tasty leftovers, the overflowing dish of chocolate treats in HR, and the all-you-can-eat-all-day-long full service cafeteria that is 27 steps from my desk. Yes, I counted. I have created a meal plan that gives me a specific lists of yes and no options, but sticking to it is tough when surrounded by so many temptations. I manage to stick to it pretty well most days, and my weight has been ticking down slowly, slowly, slowly. I have very little patience, but I have to keep reminding myself that progress is progress, no matter how small.
Looking ahead, I continue with the plan that has served me well for the past couple of years, that is to keep setting short term goals, but with some long term goals in mind as well. As I mentioned, I still participate in races, though I have already finished a total of 4 half marathons, I am working on improving my pace, so I continue to sign up for more. I'm still working on the weight loss, I haven't set a time frame goal for that but I'm hoping to reach it within the next year or so. For the long term, I set my sights on another marathon, to be completed in the Spring of 2014. That will give me time to work on improving my pace and endurance so that when it's time to start marathon training it won't be such a stretch as it was this time, and so I can actually run the whole thing the next time. I know it's possible, I just have to take it a little at a time. I'm up to 16 miles without walking now, I'm optimistic that this goal will be met within the time frame I've set.
That's all I've got for now. I'm going to try to update this more often, even when I don't have any epic adventures to tell about. I hope you enjoy my musings and thoughts, as usual, thank you for reading!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Carpe Diem
Hello, faithful regular readers, and anyone else who may have stumbled across this blog. Yeah, I know. It's been awhile since I posted anything. Well, I've been busy. You know how it is, work, kids, the holidays, blah blah blah. And maybe a little case of writer's block, to be honest. I don't want to bore folks with the minutae of my life, so I tend to put off writing these unless I get something stuck in my head that won't go away. And that leads to today's post.
It will soon be the unofficial two year anniversary of the "aha moment" that kick started my journey of weight loss and self discovery. I won't be throwing a party to celebrate, but if you've read this blog a few posts back, you know that I will be running my first marathon on February 3, just a month from now, so I like to consider that something of a celebration. I know for sure that when I cross that finish line and get my marathon medal, I'll be partying like it's 1999, even if it's just because it will mean I am done and can go home and watch Super Bowl commercials. But completing a marathon isn't just going to be just another medal to hang on my wall. For me it will represent the absolute opposite of the capability of the person I was two years ago, and the final destructive blow to the hold the memories of my former unhealthy life have still had on me all throughout this two year journey. It will blow all my previous notions of what I thought I was capable of out of the water. And that is why I'm so looking forward to doing it.
What's been on my mind a lot lately is the thought of what "could have been". What if I hadn't made the changes in my life that I did? Would I still spend most of my time sitting on my ass watching TV, chomping on pizza and donuts, not considering that I could be capable of something more? I mean, up until two years ago, I guess I thought I was doing ok, I was happy, I always had things to enjoy in my life. But looking back on the two years since then, and all the things I've accomplished and the progress I've made, I know that I could never, ever, ever go back to being the person that I used to be, because now I know what I was missing!
It's been an exciting two years for me, to say the least. I am watching myself change, day by day, not only physically but mentally as well. I am able to discipline myself in ways I never thought possible. I make incredible advances in my personal health on a regular basis, and feel incredibly good doing it. And the unavoidable outcome of that is me wanting to share this with everyone else! That is why I started writing this blog. I also post pictures and blurbs on my Facebook page, for my captive audience of friends to see. I want everyone to know how amazing this journey has been, and while I may be shy in other areas of my life, when it comes to this, I can't keep it in. And it hasn't gone unnoticed. For the past year or so, ever since the changes in me have been so noticeable, I have been approached by countless people, from co-workers and friends in my church, to complete strangers who live a few blocks away from me and noticed me jogging past their house day after day after day. And the inevitable question is: "How did you do it?". I have a carefully planned response, which is basically the condensed version of this blog: "reduce portions, eat healthy, get active, starting slow and working your way up". Most of the time people listen, smile, and nod their heads. It's very polite of them. I always wait for them to ask for more information, more specifics, but the conversation rarely gets that far. At that point, it's "well, nice talking to you, have a good day".
This kind of frustrates me, because I always think back to the person I used to be. That is, unwilling to consider making serious changes in my life because it would be way too much work. I know what people are thinking in regards to healthy living because I used to think the same way: "it's ok for other people, but I don't need it, I'm doing ok." I wish I could help people understand the amazing feeling have now that my body is getting the nutrients and exercise it needs, how everything feels and smells and looks and tastes better! How it has given me a spring in my step and a completely new outlook on life! It's amazing you guys! I'm not on drugs, I swear! Though I do eat a lot of those Gu energy gel things when I'm running, who knows what's in those. They're like liquid Schwartz for runners. But the rest of the time, I'm just high on life!
If you are reading this and you are one of the folks who I am describing in the previous paragraph, I want you to stop for just one little second and consider what I'm describing. A better quality of life. The ability to do things you didn't think possible. The simple realization that the better your health is, the longer you will live! Imagine that. Not only will you have a better quality of life, you get more time to enjoy it!, Yeah, I know, I can hear the scoffing now. It was the same thing I used to say: "Well, just because you work out and eat healthy and stuff doesn't mean you will live a long life. What if you get hit by a car or something and die? Then all that work is for nothing." Well (and please pardon my language, but I feel it's appropriate), that's bullshit. It's just another excuse to not get going. I know as well as anyone that I am not guaranteed tomorrow. Through the years, and especially the past year, I've lost friends who were beautiful and healthy and way too damn young to die, who got up in the morning and went about their day thinking it would be just another ordinary day, and for whatever reason didn't live to see the end of it. I'm sure you, dear reader, have lost dear ones the same way just as I have.
For awhile now, the phrase "Carpe Diem" has been resounding through my mind. It's a Latin term that means "Seize The Day" or "Seize Every Day". It means, don't just sit on your ass watching TV and eating pizza, because the moment you are in right now is a perfect one to begin a brand new life. It means, no matter what you think you are or are not capable of, you are capable of so much more. Don't waste 25 years of your life like I did! Put down the pizza and get off the couch right now. Go for a walk, for goodness sake. Then go for another one. Learn to eat salad. Go for another walk. Read books about salad. Take a friend with you and go for a walk. Keep at it until it's second nature. When you feel good and have the energy for it, try something you think is crazy. In addition to running in races, I took up kayaking, rappelled down a 16 story building, and climbed a couple mountains in the last year and a half! And I don't intend to slow down any time soon. Every day I seize the opportunity to make the most of the time I have. I could have another 50 years on this planet, and I fully intend on being one of those wrinkled old grannies running marathons if I am so lucky to have the physical ability and time on this planet to do so. But if I am taken from this life tonight or tomorrow, I am able to say that I have no regrets about the work I've done to improve my health these past couple years, that it has given me the opportunity to have experiences I never thought possible, and the only regret would be that I put it off too long and didn't do it sooner. Don't you dare make the same mistake I did. The moment is here, seize the day!
Thank you again for reading, see you next time!
It will soon be the unofficial two year anniversary of the "aha moment" that kick started my journey of weight loss and self discovery. I won't be throwing a party to celebrate, but if you've read this blog a few posts back, you know that I will be running my first marathon on February 3, just a month from now, so I like to consider that something of a celebration. I know for sure that when I cross that finish line and get my marathon medal, I'll be partying like it's 1999, even if it's just because it will mean I am done and can go home and watch Super Bowl commercials. But completing a marathon isn't just going to be just another medal to hang on my wall. For me it will represent the absolute opposite of the capability of the person I was two years ago, and the final destructive blow to the hold the memories of my former unhealthy life have still had on me all throughout this two year journey. It will blow all my previous notions of what I thought I was capable of out of the water. And that is why I'm so looking forward to doing it.
What's been on my mind a lot lately is the thought of what "could have been". What if I hadn't made the changes in my life that I did? Would I still spend most of my time sitting on my ass watching TV, chomping on pizza and donuts, not considering that I could be capable of something more? I mean, up until two years ago, I guess I thought I was doing ok, I was happy, I always had things to enjoy in my life. But looking back on the two years since then, and all the things I've accomplished and the progress I've made, I know that I could never, ever, ever go back to being the person that I used to be, because now I know what I was missing!
It's been an exciting two years for me, to say the least. I am watching myself change, day by day, not only physically but mentally as well. I am able to discipline myself in ways I never thought possible. I make incredible advances in my personal health on a regular basis, and feel incredibly good doing it. And the unavoidable outcome of that is me wanting to share this with everyone else! That is why I started writing this blog. I also post pictures and blurbs on my Facebook page, for my captive audience of friends to see. I want everyone to know how amazing this journey has been, and while I may be shy in other areas of my life, when it comes to this, I can't keep it in. And it hasn't gone unnoticed. For the past year or so, ever since the changes in me have been so noticeable, I have been approached by countless people, from co-workers and friends in my church, to complete strangers who live a few blocks away from me and noticed me jogging past their house day after day after day. And the inevitable question is: "How did you do it?". I have a carefully planned response, which is basically the condensed version of this blog: "reduce portions, eat healthy, get active, starting slow and working your way up". Most of the time people listen, smile, and nod their heads. It's very polite of them. I always wait for them to ask for more information, more specifics, but the conversation rarely gets that far. At that point, it's "well, nice talking to you, have a good day".
This kind of frustrates me, because I always think back to the person I used to be. That is, unwilling to consider making serious changes in my life because it would be way too much work. I know what people are thinking in regards to healthy living because I used to think the same way: "it's ok for other people, but I don't need it, I'm doing ok." I wish I could help people understand the amazing feeling have now that my body is getting the nutrients and exercise it needs, how everything feels and smells and looks and tastes better! How it has given me a spring in my step and a completely new outlook on life! It's amazing you guys! I'm not on drugs, I swear! Though I do eat a lot of those Gu energy gel things when I'm running, who knows what's in those. They're like liquid Schwartz for runners. But the rest of the time, I'm just high on life!
If you are reading this and you are one of the folks who I am describing in the previous paragraph, I want you to stop for just one little second and consider what I'm describing. A better quality of life. The ability to do things you didn't think possible. The simple realization that the better your health is, the longer you will live! Imagine that. Not only will you have a better quality of life, you get more time to enjoy it!, Yeah, I know, I can hear the scoffing now. It was the same thing I used to say: "Well, just because you work out and eat healthy and stuff doesn't mean you will live a long life. What if you get hit by a car or something and die? Then all that work is for nothing." Well (and please pardon my language, but I feel it's appropriate), that's bullshit. It's just another excuse to not get going. I know as well as anyone that I am not guaranteed tomorrow. Through the years, and especially the past year, I've lost friends who were beautiful and healthy and way too damn young to die, who got up in the morning and went about their day thinking it would be just another ordinary day, and for whatever reason didn't live to see the end of it. I'm sure you, dear reader, have lost dear ones the same way just as I have.
For awhile now, the phrase "Carpe Diem" has been resounding through my mind. It's a Latin term that means "Seize The Day" or "Seize Every Day". It means, don't just sit on your ass watching TV and eating pizza, because the moment you are in right now is a perfect one to begin a brand new life. It means, no matter what you think you are or are not capable of, you are capable of so much more. Don't waste 25 years of your life like I did! Put down the pizza and get off the couch right now. Go for a walk, for goodness sake. Then go for another one. Learn to eat salad. Go for another walk. Read books about salad. Take a friend with you and go for a walk. Keep at it until it's second nature. When you feel good and have the energy for it, try something you think is crazy. In addition to running in races, I took up kayaking, rappelled down a 16 story building, and climbed a couple mountains in the last year and a half! And I don't intend to slow down any time soon. Every day I seize the opportunity to make the most of the time I have. I could have another 50 years on this planet, and I fully intend on being one of those wrinkled old grannies running marathons if I am so lucky to have the physical ability and time on this planet to do so. But if I am taken from this life tonight or tomorrow, I am able to say that I have no regrets about the work I've done to improve my health these past couple years, that it has given me the opportunity to have experiences I never thought possible, and the only regret would be that I put it off too long and didn't do it sooner. Don't you dare make the same mistake I did. The moment is here, seize the day!
Thank you again for reading, see you next time!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Just Keep Climbing...
Nov 8, 2012. It was supposed to be a lovely Fall day. The perfect day to get out, see some fall colors, enjoy the crisp, cool air and get a little exercise to boot. I'd been planning this hike for a month, and had every detail worked out, at least I thought. But, as usual, reality had different ideas than me.
It all started last summer, when I hiked with my dad and my husband to the top of Mt. Rose, which is in Nevada, overlooking Reno on one side and Lake Tahoe on the other. I was pretty darn proud of myself, climbing that mountain, thinking what great physical condition I've gotten in that I could do that and not really feel the effects. It made me feel invincible! So when I got home to Southern California, I began to research the hiking opportunities and lo and behold, there are mountains here too! Well duh. I've only been looking at them for the 16 years that I'd lived here, but I never really thought about actually going to them.
I found myself a nifty little website called Everytrail.com, where hikers, explorers and adventurers such as myself can record trips using GPS devices and cell phones with GPS capability, and post them on the site. I found lots of Southern California posts with directions, maps, stories and pictures that stoked my fire to get out there and start exploring the backcountry of this area. I've even added some trips myself, if you look over to the right of this post, you can see my Everytrail widget, just click on that sucker and check out where I've been. But I digress...
Now, there are lots of hiking options here in Southern California that don't involve much climbing, but still remembering how great it felt to conquer a mountaintop, that seemed to be the idea that was stuck in my head, replaying over and over again. My research into suitable destinations yielded several options, each as inviting as the last. I decided for my first mountain hike here in So Cal that I would head up Mt. Wilson. It's about an hour drive from my home, the13 mile round trip description of the hike seemed reasonable, and the elevation at the top was "only" 5712 feet above sea level, that's nothing compared to the 10778 feet at the summit of Mt. Rose! No problem! Riiiiight.
I planned from the beginning to take on this hike alone. This might seem strange to some, or even dangerous. After all, there are bears and mountain lions out there, and who knows what crazy people you could meet off in the wilderness? But having spent a great deal of my youth out exploring the backwoods above my beloved Tahoe, hiking, fishing, cross country skiing and biking with no one else along for the trip, I didn't really think anything of it. After all, in all those years I never encountered anything more dangerous than squirrels. So I felt confident that a little day hike on my own was no big deal.
In the days leading up to my hike, I made sure I was prepared for what I had planned. I packed a backpack with essentials (first aid kit, extra clothes, water, flashlight, etc.), bought an "Adventure Pass" (required for recreational use of 4 Southern California national forests), studied my trail guides and maps, and started to get excited about the upcoming adventure. Until the day arrived. I woke up that morning to the sound of rain on the roof. Darn. Ok, I thought, I'll just have to bring a rain poncho. No biggie. Then I found a space blanket we had lying around, and stuffed that in my backpack "just in case". As I drove across the valley, my car was sprinkled intermittently, but by the time I got to the trailhead at Chantry Flats, the sun was out and the clouds were parting. I grabbed my pack, locked up my car, and headed out.
The first part of the hike was downhill on an old forest service road, easy going for the first mile. At the bottom of the hill there was a creek, surrounded by a lot of little cabins that I discovered on later research were built in the early 1900's, and are still lived in today, though I didn't see many of the residents. The trail split about a mile and a half in, I took a quick side trip to see Sturtevant Falls, which was a point of interest that had come up on many of my searches for places to hike. I sat for a few minutes to take in the idyllic scene, and to drink water and eat energy bars and Butterfingers I'd smuggled out of my kids' trick or treat bags. I took some pictures and enjoyed the view before heading back out to the main trail.
Back out on the trail, I had two options, the "easy trail", and the "hikers only" trail. I chose the hiker's only route as it had been described in my guide as "the most scenic". This, I soon learned, also meant, "really rocky and kinda steep". The trail was literally carved out of a cliff in some places, and I found myself leaning away from the edge to keep my heavy backpack from dragging me over the side and 20 feet down into the creek. But the scenic part didn't disappoint. The trail followed along the edge of the creek for a good long ways, including views of Sturtevant falls from above. There were more waterfalls as I kept going, even at a trickle the creek was very pretty, and I couldn't help but think how nice it must be in the spring, when the stream is full.
I continued on the trail for one mile, two miles, and more. It climbed up gradually, cutting through thick woods of oak and more or less followed on one side or the other of the creek bed. As I went along, the clouds that had dissipated earlier began to roll back in, and I began to notice that other than the trail in front of me and behind me, there wasn't much of a view. I saw some lovely fall colors on the trees over the path, and even a little brown salamander making his way across the trail, but didn't see much else in the way of scenery. It began to rain on and off, not enough to soak me, but enough to make my clothes just a little bit damper than I liked. And oh yeah, I was sweating. A lot. Hiking uphill with a heavy load on your back will do that to you. I stopped at Spruce Grove Campground, which the trail goes right through the middle of, for a quick break. Up until this point in my hike, I had only seen one other person after leaving Sturtevant Falls, and began to notice a strange sense of aloneness. That's not even a word. But it's the best description I can think of. I attempted to munch on more Butterfingers and Clif Bars while several rowdy squirrels perched on branches over my head, shrieking and chucking large acorns at me. I think one of them whizzed on me, which was my cue to pack up and get going again.
A short distance from Spruce Grove, there was a trail split. I followed the sign with the arrow pointing to the left, noting "Mt. Wilson, 3 miles". Only three miles to go! Pfft, that's a measly 5k, no big deal there, right? And that is where reality began to have fun with me. Very soon after starting on this part of the trail, it went from "gradually ascending" to "oh jeez this is steep". And it didn't relent even one little bit for the next three miles. At first it was just one long stretch of up, up, up and more up. Then the trail hit the steepest part of the mountainside and broke into switchbacks crossing back and forth across the steep mountain face. Now, I thought I'd prepared for this. I had finished an 18 mile run the previous week, so I knew I wasn't lacking in stamina, yet I felt like I was dragging my feet through mud with each step. I guess that 5k isn't such a cinch after all when you're going straight up instead of flat! Yeesh. And at some point my ankle began to hurt. Great, I thought, just what I need.
I got to a sign that said "halfway point", 1.4 miles to Mt. Wilson, and sat down on a rock to rest. That halfway mark was referring to the old Sturtevant Camp, which is still there (and open for rental, apparently, according to their website), that I had passed earlier. So now I was thinking, Oh my God, I still have a mile and a half of this to go! Aaugh! So much for "a mile is no big deal". I got up off my butt, shoved my big feet up the trail, and counted my blessings that there was no one around to hear me growling and grunting my way up the last part of it.
I think it took me just under an hour to get that last mile in. And what a mile it was. Phew. But after what seemed like an infinite amount of switchbacks, stomping, climbing and just the teensiest bit of swearing, I saw a fence, and this sign.
It all started last summer, when I hiked with my dad and my husband to the top of Mt. Rose, which is in Nevada, overlooking Reno on one side and Lake Tahoe on the other. I was pretty darn proud of myself, climbing that mountain, thinking what great physical condition I've gotten in that I could do that and not really feel the effects. It made me feel invincible! So when I got home to Southern California, I began to research the hiking opportunities and lo and behold, there are mountains here too! Well duh. I've only been looking at them for the 16 years that I'd lived here, but I never really thought about actually going to them.
I found myself a nifty little website called Everytrail.com, where hikers, explorers and adventurers such as myself can record trips using GPS devices and cell phones with GPS capability, and post them on the site. I found lots of Southern California posts with directions, maps, stories and pictures that stoked my fire to get out there and start exploring the backcountry of this area. I've even added some trips myself, if you look over to the right of this post, you can see my Everytrail widget, just click on that sucker and check out where I've been. But I digress...
Now, there are lots of hiking options here in Southern California that don't involve much climbing, but still remembering how great it felt to conquer a mountaintop, that seemed to be the idea that was stuck in my head, replaying over and over again. My research into suitable destinations yielded several options, each as inviting as the last. I decided for my first mountain hike here in So Cal that I would head up Mt. Wilson. It's about an hour drive from my home, the13 mile round trip description of the hike seemed reasonable, and the elevation at the top was "only" 5712 feet above sea level, that's nothing compared to the 10778 feet at the summit of Mt. Rose! No problem! Riiiiight.
I planned from the beginning to take on this hike alone. This might seem strange to some, or even dangerous. After all, there are bears and mountain lions out there, and who knows what crazy people you could meet off in the wilderness? But having spent a great deal of my youth out exploring the backwoods above my beloved Tahoe, hiking, fishing, cross country skiing and biking with no one else along for the trip, I didn't really think anything of it. After all, in all those years I never encountered anything more dangerous than squirrels. So I felt confident that a little day hike on my own was no big deal.
In the days leading up to my hike, I made sure I was prepared for what I had planned. I packed a backpack with essentials (first aid kit, extra clothes, water, flashlight, etc.), bought an "Adventure Pass" (required for recreational use of 4 Southern California national forests), studied my trail guides and maps, and started to get excited about the upcoming adventure. Until the day arrived. I woke up that morning to the sound of rain on the roof. Darn. Ok, I thought, I'll just have to bring a rain poncho. No biggie. Then I found a space blanket we had lying around, and stuffed that in my backpack "just in case". As I drove across the valley, my car was sprinkled intermittently, but by the time I got to the trailhead at Chantry Flats, the sun was out and the clouds were parting. I grabbed my pack, locked up my car, and headed out.
The first part of the hike was downhill on an old forest service road, easy going for the first mile. At the bottom of the hill there was a creek, surrounded by a lot of little cabins that I discovered on later research were built in the early 1900's, and are still lived in today, though I didn't see many of the residents. The trail split about a mile and a half in, I took a quick side trip to see Sturtevant Falls, which was a point of interest that had come up on many of my searches for places to hike. I sat for a few minutes to take in the idyllic scene, and to drink water and eat energy bars and Butterfingers I'd smuggled out of my kids' trick or treat bags. I took some pictures and enjoyed the view before heading back out to the main trail.
I continued on the trail for one mile, two miles, and more. It climbed up gradually, cutting through thick woods of oak and more or less followed on one side or the other of the creek bed. As I went along, the clouds that had dissipated earlier began to roll back in, and I began to notice that other than the trail in front of me and behind me, there wasn't much of a view. I saw some lovely fall colors on the trees over the path, and even a little brown salamander making his way across the trail, but didn't see much else in the way of scenery. It began to rain on and off, not enough to soak me, but enough to make my clothes just a little bit damper than I liked. And oh yeah, I was sweating. A lot. Hiking uphill with a heavy load on your back will do that to you. I stopped at Spruce Grove Campground, which the trail goes right through the middle of, for a quick break. Up until this point in my hike, I had only seen one other person after leaving Sturtevant Falls, and began to notice a strange sense of aloneness. That's not even a word. But it's the best description I can think of. I attempted to munch on more Butterfingers and Clif Bars while several rowdy squirrels perched on branches over my head, shrieking and chucking large acorns at me. I think one of them whizzed on me, which was my cue to pack up and get going again.
A short distance from Spruce Grove, there was a trail split. I followed the sign with the arrow pointing to the left, noting "Mt. Wilson, 3 miles". Only three miles to go! Pfft, that's a measly 5k, no big deal there, right? And that is where reality began to have fun with me. Very soon after starting on this part of the trail, it went from "gradually ascending" to "oh jeez this is steep". And it didn't relent even one little bit for the next three miles. At first it was just one long stretch of up, up, up and more up. Then the trail hit the steepest part of the mountainside and broke into switchbacks crossing back and forth across the steep mountain face. Now, I thought I'd prepared for this. I had finished an 18 mile run the previous week, so I knew I wasn't lacking in stamina, yet I felt like I was dragging my feet through mud with each step. I guess that 5k isn't such a cinch after all when you're going straight up instead of flat! Yeesh. And at some point my ankle began to hurt. Great, I thought, just what I need.
I got to a sign that said "halfway point", 1.4 miles to Mt. Wilson, and sat down on a rock to rest. That halfway mark was referring to the old Sturtevant Camp, which is still there (and open for rental, apparently, according to their website), that I had passed earlier. So now I was thinking, Oh my God, I still have a mile and a half of this to go! Aaugh! So much for "a mile is no big deal". I got up off my butt, shoved my big feet up the trail, and counted my blessings that there was no one around to hear me growling and grunting my way up the last part of it.
I think it took me just under an hour to get that last mile in. And what a mile it was. Phew. But after what seemed like an infinite amount of switchbacks, stomping, climbing and just the teensiest bit of swearing, I saw a fence, and this sign.
6.7 miles back to my car. No biggie, it's all down hill from here! But wait, there's more!
My original plan had been to find a picnic area once I reached the top, eat lunch, and take a different trail back to Chantry Flats. It was all so well described in my guide! The trail shown here ended shortly after the sign, and I began to see the buildings that housed the telescopes of the Wilson Observatory. I headed out on paved roads and looked for the picnic area from my guide. I quickly discovered two big problems with this plan. One, there was no cell service there on top of Mt. Wilson. I had assumed that a huge complex like that as described in my guides would have cell service, but I had zip, nothing, nada. I tried to load maps on my GPS app, but got nothing. The other big problem I had was that the fog had rolled in something fierce. Not long after arriving on the mountaintop I found myself surrounded by fog, not able to see even 20 feet in front of me. Now, I wasn't lost. I knew where I had been and could find my way back. But I didn't want to go back the way I came because the path I was supposed to take back down the mountain was supposed to be wider and less precarious than the one I had taken up. So I walked around the observatory complex at the top of Mt. Wilson, studying the maps posted on the buildings there, hoping for a clue to find the trail that had been described in my guide, but couldn't find a thing. Stupid cell phone. I decided I needed to head back down the way I came or else risk taking an unfamiliar route in the fog and possibly dark (as in, Oh, Yeah, I forgot that we set our clocks back a week earlier and now it's dark at 5. Big DUH). By this time I had busted out my space blanket too, because I was freezing my tail off in my sweaty shirt and sweatshirt, and it must have been just under 50 degrees up there at that time. So I must have looked quite the sight to the guy who had driven up there to work on the TV towers at the top of the mountain. He pulled over to see if I was ok, and I asked him if he knew where the trailhead was to get down. He said no, and asked if I wanted a ride back to my car. Let's see. It's cold. I'm kinda wet. My feet hurt. My ankle hurts. I'm hungry (never got to have my picnic), I'm not lost, but maybe, yeah, I'm not really going the right direction either. It's foggy. It's getting dark. Ok, so I accepted the ride. What a nice guy. He said his name was David. So wherever you are, David, thank you for rescuing me from the brink of Mt. Wilson and the great fog bank of November 2012.
So now I've got another bee in my bonnet, this time to go back and do it right. I thought I'd been prepared, but it's always the little things that get you in the end. The weather. The time change. Trusting my technology to guide me instead of tried and true paper maps. And, of course, my assumption that over 4000 feet of elevation gain would be "no big deal". I had thought Mt. Rose was a big deal, but looking at the details of that hike, it starts at nearly 9000 feet elevation, so by the time you reach the top, it's only around 2100 feet of elevation gain. No small feat, but nearly double that and that's what you get when you hike Mt. Wilson.
I'll be doing it again, and yes, I'll be doing it alone. But this time, and all the times I venture out after, I'll be sure to plan ahead, think of the small things, and never assume Mother Nature is on my side. Because she's the worst enemy us would be adventurers can have. She can also be our best friend. The trouble we go to to prepare for these trips is only worth it because of the rewards we get in the end. The views. The sense of accomplishment. The memories and stories that we have to pass on to those around us. I look forward to the next round, I hope the story of it will be better and more encouraging than this one. But despite the negative parts of this trip, I have one major thing to take away from it. And that is, I DID IT. I MADE IT. Even though I wanted to stop more than once along the way and turn back, I didn't. That is something I will always have to keep with me, and it will be my motivation to keep going in the future. As I continue to discover every day, anything is possible, if you just keep going and don't give up, no matter how long it takes.
Thanks for reading, see you next time!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
What Have I Gotten Myself Into?
Well, it's officially official. I have gone off the deep end. Or so I would think if I were the old version of myself talking to the new me. So what is it that I've gone and done? Well, I'll tell ya.
This is what I've done. Or rather, this is what I've decided to do. For those who are unfamiliar with this number, this is how many miles there are in a marathon. Yes, a full marathon. Not a half marathon, not a 10k, but a full marathon. Phew. I get tired just talking about it. And yet, here I am, well on my way to the next level of crazy in my quest to find out just what I am capable of. Will I be able to do this? I know I will. Will it kick my butt? Probably. Will I hate it, kick myself for making myself go through it, and swear never to ever ever ever do it again? That is what remains to be seen.
It took me a while to get to the point in my fitness journey that I would even consider the idea of doing a full marathon. I've worked my way up from walking a few miles at a time, to walking more than a few miles at at time, to jogging and running longer distances, and have been surprised to find that I haven't yet reached the limit of my endurance. Sure, I feel the effects of a long run and need a bit of rest and recovery time after completing one, but I find I can quickly bounce back and get back to life. Dare I say it? Dare I? It's almost...too easy. There, I said it. Now, take into consideration what I mean by "long run". This can be anywhere from 10-14 miles for me. I can complete this distance in one morning, come home, and after an hour or so of rest, get on with the rest of my day of chores, family adventures, work and such with very little effect from my run. What this means to me is that I am comfortable with this level of activity I have reached, and that maintaining it is possible. I would never have imagined I would reach this level, let alone anything more. And yet, having reached this point, I look back at myself over the past year and a half, and see that every time I reached a new level of comfort, I wasn't satisfied to stay there, but kept pushing myself to see if I could do better. So here I am at this point once again, and I'm ready to see what the next round will bring.
So how am I going to do this? I need to prepare myself for this challenge both physically and mentally. The best way for me to handle it has been to do it the same way I've done everything else. Slow and steady. Now, I won't say slow and steady wins the race. Because the people who train every day to win these things aren't going to lay down and take a nap in the middle of the race like the hare in the old childhood story. No, they are going to run hard and win. But slow and steady will finish the race, and that's what I am going to do. Currently I am in my third week of "official" marathon training. I downloaded some information, made calendars, and am gradually building up my distance so that I'll be ready to face that 26.2 miles on the day of the race. Last Saturday morning I did my longest distance yet, 16 miles. Wow. But that's still 10 miles short of the marathon, so I've got my work cut out for me. This Saturday I'll go for 18, then over the next few weeks, work my way up to 20. And so on. It's not a matter of thinking about running the 26.2 miles three months from now, it's a matter of thinking about what I'm doing today, tomorrow, and maybe as far ahead as this weekend. Set my short term goal, prepare myself, get out and go.
The amazing thing to me has been that time and time again, as I've set the goals and reached every one of them, I still haven't hit the wall. I still love it, enjoy it, and look forward to the next round. It hurts, it tires me, it takes time away from other "fun" things I could be doing, but I keep going back for more. It happened when I did my first 10k. It happened when I did my first half marathon. Each time I set a goal, I reached it, and then went on to master it and make it a regular part of my routine. So that is why I am now setting my sights on a full marathon. The goal is two-fold. One, to finish the thing. Just cross the finish line. To say, "at least I did it once!" Second, to see how it makes me feel. Will I love it? Will I hate it? At this point in my training, I honestly don't know.
As I continue my training and work on getting up in to those previously unthinkable distances, I know there is a very real chance that I might decide that I've gone too far and it's more than I prefer to do on a regular basis. I've always given myself an "escape clause", that is, I keep telling myself that as soon as I start hating what I'm doing, that I will immediately scale it back to a level where I am comfortable again, in order to maintain the progress I've made and still enjoy it. The escape clause is in full effect here. I will not beat myself up if I don't love training for and running a marathon. I will be satisfied with what I've already achieved and know that I am doing just fine at my current level of activity. And I will know that I had to courage to push myself just a little further when I thought I'd reached the end. But who knows? I might find that I love it, be able to maintain that next level of endurance on a regular basis, and join the ranks of occasional marathon runners. After all I've gone through to get where I am, that is the ultimate dream for me. To know what I used to be and to be able to say I didn't just overcome the obstacles of obesity, unhealthy living and bad habits, I SMASHED them. Obliterated, destroyed, crushed and trampled them, swept them up and threw them far away where they can never bother me again. Ever.
My marathon is going to be on February 3 of next year. As I write this, I have less than 14 weeks until that big day, and I'm ready to go. I'm registered, I'm sticking to my training, and I'm nervous, excited, and optimistic. I'll be posting from time to time on my progress, so this won't be the last you hear of it. Hopefully I'll have more good than bad to report, but whatever the outcome, I'm ready to see this through. And that alone is the best reward I have received for all that I've worked for.
Thanks again for reading, until next time...
This.
This is what I've done. Or rather, this is what I've decided to do. For those who are unfamiliar with this number, this is how many miles there are in a marathon. Yes, a full marathon. Not a half marathon, not a 10k, but a full marathon. Phew. I get tired just talking about it. And yet, here I am, well on my way to the next level of crazy in my quest to find out just what I am capable of. Will I be able to do this? I know I will. Will it kick my butt? Probably. Will I hate it, kick myself for making myself go through it, and swear never to ever ever ever do it again? That is what remains to be seen.
It took me a while to get to the point in my fitness journey that I would even consider the idea of doing a full marathon. I've worked my way up from walking a few miles at a time, to walking more than a few miles at at time, to jogging and running longer distances, and have been surprised to find that I haven't yet reached the limit of my endurance. Sure, I feel the effects of a long run and need a bit of rest and recovery time after completing one, but I find I can quickly bounce back and get back to life. Dare I say it? Dare I? It's almost...too easy. There, I said it. Now, take into consideration what I mean by "long run". This can be anywhere from 10-14 miles for me. I can complete this distance in one morning, come home, and after an hour or so of rest, get on with the rest of my day of chores, family adventures, work and such with very little effect from my run. What this means to me is that I am comfortable with this level of activity I have reached, and that maintaining it is possible. I would never have imagined I would reach this level, let alone anything more. And yet, having reached this point, I look back at myself over the past year and a half, and see that every time I reached a new level of comfort, I wasn't satisfied to stay there, but kept pushing myself to see if I could do better. So here I am at this point once again, and I'm ready to see what the next round will bring.
So how am I going to do this? I need to prepare myself for this challenge both physically and mentally. The best way for me to handle it has been to do it the same way I've done everything else. Slow and steady. Now, I won't say slow and steady wins the race. Because the people who train every day to win these things aren't going to lay down and take a nap in the middle of the race like the hare in the old childhood story. No, they are going to run hard and win. But slow and steady will finish the race, and that's what I am going to do. Currently I am in my third week of "official" marathon training. I downloaded some information, made calendars, and am gradually building up my distance so that I'll be ready to face that 26.2 miles on the day of the race. Last Saturday morning I did my longest distance yet, 16 miles. Wow. But that's still 10 miles short of the marathon, so I've got my work cut out for me. This Saturday I'll go for 18, then over the next few weeks, work my way up to 20. And so on. It's not a matter of thinking about running the 26.2 miles three months from now, it's a matter of thinking about what I'm doing today, tomorrow, and maybe as far ahead as this weekend. Set my short term goal, prepare myself, get out and go.
The amazing thing to me has been that time and time again, as I've set the goals and reached every one of them, I still haven't hit the wall. I still love it, enjoy it, and look forward to the next round. It hurts, it tires me, it takes time away from other "fun" things I could be doing, but I keep going back for more. It happened when I did my first 10k. It happened when I did my first half marathon. Each time I set a goal, I reached it, and then went on to master it and make it a regular part of my routine. So that is why I am now setting my sights on a full marathon. The goal is two-fold. One, to finish the thing. Just cross the finish line. To say, "at least I did it once!" Second, to see how it makes me feel. Will I love it? Will I hate it? At this point in my training, I honestly don't know.
As I continue my training and work on getting up in to those previously unthinkable distances, I know there is a very real chance that I might decide that I've gone too far and it's more than I prefer to do on a regular basis. I've always given myself an "escape clause", that is, I keep telling myself that as soon as I start hating what I'm doing, that I will immediately scale it back to a level where I am comfortable again, in order to maintain the progress I've made and still enjoy it. The escape clause is in full effect here. I will not beat myself up if I don't love training for and running a marathon. I will be satisfied with what I've already achieved and know that I am doing just fine at my current level of activity. And I will know that I had to courage to push myself just a little further when I thought I'd reached the end. But who knows? I might find that I love it, be able to maintain that next level of endurance on a regular basis, and join the ranks of occasional marathon runners. After all I've gone through to get where I am, that is the ultimate dream for me. To know what I used to be and to be able to say I didn't just overcome the obstacles of obesity, unhealthy living and bad habits, I SMASHED them. Obliterated, destroyed, crushed and trampled them, swept them up and threw them far away where they can never bother me again. Ever.
My marathon is going to be on February 3 of next year. As I write this, I have less than 14 weeks until that big day, and I'm ready to go. I'm registered, I'm sticking to my training, and I'm nervous, excited, and optimistic. I'll be posting from time to time on my progress, so this won't be the last you hear of it. Hopefully I'll have more good than bad to report, but whatever the outcome, I'm ready to see this through. And that alone is the best reward I have received for all that I've worked for.
Thanks again for reading, until next time...
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