Well. When I was writing my first post the other day, I was thinking that few would actually read it, that maybe I'd get a couple responses eventually, but didn't expect the reaction that I got. I was surprised and encouraged by the positive response that I did get, so now as I begin the next post, I am both excited and a little nervous. I've been trying to collect my thoughts and put them in order, I have so many things I want to write about and now that I know people might actually read it, I have to do them justice. So here we go...
I thought I'd start off by touching on the reason for the name of this blog. My first idea for a name was "A Work In Progress", but I thought maybe that might be too generic. I wanted something that would convey the emotion I've been feeling throughout this entire life-changing process. It occurred to me that all my life I had an ideal of myself in regards to personal appearance, kind of a physical "alter ego", as it were. As I mentioned in my previous post, I wanted to look like "normal" people. I didn't want to look like a Victoria's Secret model, I just wanted to see my physical self the way it should be, without weird shapes or bulges that had to be covered with baggy outfits. Over the past year, as I lost weight, I realized that that "alter ego" has become a reality. Not only physically, but mentally, as I've gained a great deal of confidence, and learned a lot about healthy living, being active, and how to find what works best for me, in the world of fitness as well as everyday life. Long story short, I'm living the dream! I am my alter ego. Woo hoo!
Now, on to the main topic. Many people have asked me about my experience this past year, and one question I get a lot is, how and why did you start? So this is what I am going to discuss today. After my "aha" moment, which as you may recall, involved really bright lights and a really big mirror, I knew I needed to take a good look at my habits, and identify what I needed to work on. Well, duh, right? Real plain and simple. And yet, it took many years for me to even reach that point. Oh well, better late than never, I suppose. So, what it really came down to was simple math. If more calories go in than are burned, then the body retains them. Again, very plain and simple. So how did I manage to overlook this very logical reality? Well, first of all, I love food. I make no excuses for that. I love the color, the smell, the texture, and of course the taste. I'll eat almost anything, there is very little that I don't like. Except bell peppers. Nasty, foul little things. But I digress... So, when it came to food, I made a life out of finding creative ways to justify eating to excess. It's kind of like when we joke, "oh, birthday calories don't count", except I did this nearly every day and at nearly every meal. Whatever the meal, whether there was an occasion or not, if there was enough food available, I loaded my plate to overflowing, finished it, and more often than not, went back and loaded it again. As I did that, I would tell myself it was ok, because "hey, this might not be available again", or "wow, it's something I really like, I should just enjoy it and not feel guilty". And the biggest, most insidious excuse? This one: "I will start eating right TOMORROW". Yep. I tricked myself again and again and again and again and, well, you get the idea. I planned to start eating right tomorrow for a long time. About 25 years to be exact. I could go through the rest of my life regretting those 25 years except for one thing. I broke the cycle, and for me, there really is no looking back.
So what did I do exactly to break that cycle? Back again to the plain and simple. I started off by setting simple goals and making small changes. As soon as I made those goals and mastered those changes, I made new ones. First it was simply reducing portions. One plate, no seconds. Then it was changing what was on that plate. Less fat, less sugar, more lean protein, more veggies and fruits, more whole grains. Back to basics. And you know what? It worked! I started to lose weight almost immediately. And the really funny thing? Suddenly, many of the foods that I thought I couldn't resist weren't quite so tempting any more. I got more satisfaction out of watching the number on the scale fall than I did eating those fattening things. Little by little, day by day, they lost their grip on me.
So we come to where I am now. I eat a reasonably healthy diet overall, but I will always love food and allow myself to enjoy it, whether it's my regular routine ultra healthy salad of leaves and twigs, or a deliciously decadent, greasy spread on the rare occasion. Today when I go to a friend's party, I'm gonna eat lechon and lumpia and pancit and those fried banana thingies that I can't remember the name of. And tomorrow we are gonna BBQ in the back yard after church, while we enjoy our local version of fresh air. And next week, it's back to leaves and twigs. Because when it comes down to it that's how it's done.
I hope you enjoyed today's post. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to put it down in writing, get it out of my head, and let it breathe.
Until Next Time!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
All About Me...
So this is my very first blog post ever. It's going to be totally lame because I haven't figured out how to do all the cutesy stuff yet, like add pictures or fancy backgrounds and such. I am also exhausted because I've run 18 miles in the past three days, 10 of them this morning, and right now everything in my brain is kind of mushy and all I can muster is bluh.
The reason I decided to do this is mostly because over the past 18 months I have been on an epic journey to better myself through improving my health. As of late, a lot of people in my life have been asking me, "how did you do it?", and I'm hoping that writing this in exhausting detail will answer those questions. Also, I like to write, and I hope that if people are actually reading this, from time to time they will be able to put up with random streams of consciousness about nothing in particular that I need to put in writing. My Facebook friends know what I'm talking about.
To start at the beginning, for the vast majority of my life, I was really really fat, and one fateful day 18 months ago, I realized that I needed to do something about it or suffer the consequences. What would those be, you ask? The most well publicized of course, are high risk for heart disease and diabetes and other really bad health things that make you dead before you want to be. But personally, it was the "little things", like knowing that every time I went to a restaurant I was going to have to ask for a table with chairs because I couldn't squeeze my giant ass into a booth, or hoping when I went to the movies that it wouldn't be the old fashioned bucket seats because I would again have issues squeezing in the aforementioned giant ass. It was not being able to go on roller coasters because the bar wouldn't go down over my gut. It was asking for a "seat belt extender" on airplanes. It was getting winded going up a flight of stairs. It was going to the "plus size" store and grabbing stuff off the rack, never trying anything on because it was just going to look like a Hefty bag anyway. I could go on and on, but I'm starting to get depressed.
Many of us go through life wishing we could be better than we are. I always wanted to be fit. Not thin. Not skinny. Just "normal". You see, from the age of 12 I was heavy. First pudgy, then chubby, then just plain fat. But, knowing it would take a lot of work and discipline to become my ideal, I told myself for many years that it was impossible, that I had too much going against me, that I was destined to always be fat. I deluded myself by deciding I was doing all right the way I was and didn't need to lose weight. Even as I got bigger and bigger, I found ways to look in the mirror and be satisfied that I "wasn't really that bad". I was able to mask a large host of flaws until one fateful encounter with a full length hotel bathroom mirror and really bright florescent lights. It was one of those experiences where there is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, no hiding from the truth. I was nasty to look at as well as feeling nasty because of my physical limitations.
From that moment on, for the first time in my life, I didn't run and hide from the truth. I faced it head on. I took the bull by the horns and attacked it. And at first it fought back with all its strength. But so did I. And the harder I fought, the easier it got to beat it. I won't go into detail in this first post, because I will do that over the course of many posts. Also because I'm really tired, irritated and my kid is hungry. Long story short, over the past 18 months I've lost 100 lbs, started an excellent fitness routine and completely revised my relationship with food. Please read the posts to come in the next few days/weeks/whenever I get a chance, I will go into more detail and hopefully be able to help people who are just like me, who know they can be better and just need a kick start and a little encouragement to get on their way.
The reason I decided to do this is mostly because over the past 18 months I have been on an epic journey to better myself through improving my health. As of late, a lot of people in my life have been asking me, "how did you do it?", and I'm hoping that writing this in exhausting detail will answer those questions. Also, I like to write, and I hope that if people are actually reading this, from time to time they will be able to put up with random streams of consciousness about nothing in particular that I need to put in writing. My Facebook friends know what I'm talking about.
To start at the beginning, for the vast majority of my life, I was really really fat, and one fateful day 18 months ago, I realized that I needed to do something about it or suffer the consequences. What would those be, you ask? The most well publicized of course, are high risk for heart disease and diabetes and other really bad health things that make you dead before you want to be. But personally, it was the "little things", like knowing that every time I went to a restaurant I was going to have to ask for a table with chairs because I couldn't squeeze my giant ass into a booth, or hoping when I went to the movies that it wouldn't be the old fashioned bucket seats because I would again have issues squeezing in the aforementioned giant ass. It was not being able to go on roller coasters because the bar wouldn't go down over my gut. It was asking for a "seat belt extender" on airplanes. It was getting winded going up a flight of stairs. It was going to the "plus size" store and grabbing stuff off the rack, never trying anything on because it was just going to look like a Hefty bag anyway. I could go on and on, but I'm starting to get depressed.
Many of us go through life wishing we could be better than we are. I always wanted to be fit. Not thin. Not skinny. Just "normal". You see, from the age of 12 I was heavy. First pudgy, then chubby, then just plain fat. But, knowing it would take a lot of work and discipline to become my ideal, I told myself for many years that it was impossible, that I had too much going against me, that I was destined to always be fat. I deluded myself by deciding I was doing all right the way I was and didn't need to lose weight. Even as I got bigger and bigger, I found ways to look in the mirror and be satisfied that I "wasn't really that bad". I was able to mask a large host of flaws until one fateful encounter with a full length hotel bathroom mirror and really bright florescent lights. It was one of those experiences where there is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, no hiding from the truth. I was nasty to look at as well as feeling nasty because of my physical limitations.
From that moment on, for the first time in my life, I didn't run and hide from the truth. I faced it head on. I took the bull by the horns and attacked it. And at first it fought back with all its strength. But so did I. And the harder I fought, the easier it got to beat it. I won't go into detail in this first post, because I will do that over the course of many posts. Also because I'm really tired, irritated and my kid is hungry. Long story short, over the past 18 months I've lost 100 lbs, started an excellent fitness routine and completely revised my relationship with food. Please read the posts to come in the next few days/weeks/whenever I get a chance, I will go into more detail and hopefully be able to help people who are just like me, who know they can be better and just need a kick start and a little encouragement to get on their way.
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